Let us now praise fermented grains.

Don’t you make that face at me; this has nothing to do with alcohol.

(…Sheesh! A girl goes wild on one spring break and no one ever takes her seriously again...)

But first: 

Go over to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermentation_(food) and learn about fermentation, the amaaaaazing combination of time and bacteria that transforms my 3 new favorite foods (yeah RBG! Woo!) into a sweet-sour-fluffy-fizzy cornucopia of palate-pleasing, digestive-health-promoting probiotic goodness. (And don’t you make that face at me Paul Bindel: the OED definition was neither informative nor interesting).

That's right, my newest culinary obsession basically involves waiting around for bacteria to eat my food before I eat it.  Just like a baby bird whose mom regurgitates half-digested worms back into its mouth...only less gross. Sort of.

Yep. Totally stoked on bacteria. 

Hey, I’m unemployed, alright? I’m taking what I can get here.

Skeptical? 

Let me tell you a story. I’m starting to miss bread. I’m starting to miss it something awful. Rice is nice, and lord know things in bowls generally please me. But there is something indescribably satisfying about being able to pick up bread-wrapped food with your hands and just stick it right in your mouth.  This is where dosa comes in to the picture.

Dosa is a super-awesome Northern Indian fermented rice pancake batter that is responsible for my gastronomic happiness at least once a day. Here’s how it works:

First you Make the Batter!

Get 3 C white rice and 1 C urad dal (I’ve used mung and red dal too, and both worked fine).

Soak them separately overnight in water.

Drain and rinse them.

Process each into a smooth paste.

Mix together, and add water to make a thin batter.

Add about ½ tsp. vinegar and 1 tsp. salt.

Let rest at room temperature overnight...it's fermenting!

The next day, you should have this (it's fermented!):

You might need to add more water to get it this thin.

At this point you can also add more salt to taste, and minced chilis, garlic, or ginger.

Then, you Cook the Batter!

Heat oil in a heavy, preferably cast-iron pan. (Coconut oil is ideal, and super tasty here…but alas, not part of the RBG program. So I just use veg oil).

Now the tricky part: spread the batter on the pan in a circular motion to make a very thin pancake. You have to be really quick here, because the batter wants to stick and start cooking right away. But don’t worry if it's not that thin. It'll be tasty anyway.

Then the “Oh, I know how this works” part: When the dosa gets sort of solid and bubbly on the top,
you can either a) roll it up with some kind of tasty filling (like curry potatoes. Or chole…yum!) or b) flip it over and cook it on the other side and then use it to scoop up some tasty curry you just invented.

See?

Delicious!

So. Back to the whole fermentation thing. Those 12 hour soaks you give the rice and lentils? During the second one little microorganisms (bacteria!) start to turn some of the starches in the batter into sugars which gives pancakes that have exactly NO leavening in them a light, chewy texture AND (pay attention -- this is important) make it so that after 2 weeks(!) in the fridge the dosa batter is still good.

As a matter of fact, it’s better every time I use it!

That’s right, folks -- dosa gets better with age. 

Like wine. 

Anyway, if you still have any doubts about the amaaaaazing power of bacteria, check this out: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/bonnie_bassler_on_how_bacteria_communicate.html.  C'mon. It's about talking bacteria. How could you not want to watch it?

PS: Kudos to you if you made it all the way down here. Seriously, you should reward yourself...with a fermented beverage perhaps!