Excuses. Really really good excuses.

I can see you now: you've begun shaking your head.
I can hear you too: "Well, there goes Ashley's second attempt at blogging. Straight down the digital tubes, just like the first one."
I can reassure you: Not this time.

I haven't posted in almost a week, it's true. But that's because for the past 6 days I have fully devoted myself to the arduous task of shameless self-promotion.
First, I tried pimping myself out as a personal chef on Craigslist. Check out my sweet ad: http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/res/2003572740.html
Now go tell your friends.
Spread the word.
Help me build my empire.
Seriously...there could be a pie in it for you.
See? Shameless self promotion. Like I said.

Next, I began courting my dream job: Portland Mercury food critic. That's right, according to an ad they posted I could possibly get paid to be a snarky, opinionated, foodophile. And I could eat meals on the company dime! No way! Where do I sign up?!
Well.
Apparently they need me to write a restaurant review as part of my application.
Apparently they do not know that I am on an extremely tight budget. Which means I haven't eaten out in like a month.
Have you ever tried to write a review for a restaurant you haven't eaten at in a month?
I didn't think so.
It is really really hard.

Anyway, that's where the week went.
Lame excuses?
Maybe.
But I bet you won't think so once I'm the Master of Portland's culinary universe.
Then you'll be all "Hey! Wanna grab some lunch or something? Sweet. So...The Mercury pays for your meals, right? Just sayin'..."
And I'll be all "Told ya so. Just sayin'..."